Bad Meaning Good case study #16: 'Frankenfish'

Wednesday, May 05 2010

In April of 2009, myself and DJ Intel launched the 'Bad Meaning Good' monthly movie event at The Burlington in Chicago (which takes place on the first Monday of every month). The idea behind the night is to screen cult classics, exploit movies, unintentional comedies and every other kind of film we collectively decide is so bad that it's actually good. In the ongoing search for the perfect 'Bad Meaning Good' film I've decided to take on a weekly (or AT LEAST once-per-week) blog entry in which I'll review, summarize and rate bad movies of every variety imaginable. The goal is to reach somewhere in the range of 75-100 posts within a year, at which point I'll look for a place to publish a first volume of 'Bad Meaning Good' reviews in book form. Stay tuned...

Bad Meaning Good case study #16:
'Frankenfish' (dir. Mark A.Z. Dippe)

Summary:
"We are FUCKING fish food!" ... You're damn right, you are. The Louisiana bayou is being run amuck by a mysterious, underwater presence. A great white? A bullshark? Could it be... Frankenfish?!

This made for tv & direct to dvd movie aired on the Sci Fi channel in 2004 and stars Tory Kittles (is it me or does that name sound like a breakfast cereal?) and China Chow, as forensic and biology experts respectively, sent to the bayou to investigate an unsolved murder, only to be terrorized by giant, mutant fish instead. The recipe is as follows: head over to your local Aldi, take one part 'Tremors', add a dab of generic brand 'Anaconda', sprinkle in the requisite influence from the 'Jaws' school of culinary sea-menace and VOILA!... Frankenfish it is!

These movies always play out more or less the same way. What you get are a bunch of stock players mostly running around and buying time in advance of their inevitable deaths and a whole lotta genre tropes to spare. In this case we've got the straight-shooting lead and his fish-out-of-water (no pun intended) assistant, we've got the local voodoo-lady mystic-type (this is Louisiana after all), a pair of hippies for whom we mostly hope the fish reserve the very most gruesome comeuppance, we've got a subplot about Asian gangsters (we know they're Asian because they eat Chinese food), a tattooed, river-dwelling local badass with a no-nonsense attitude, the altogether decent and sheltered local girl in need of rescue, the obnoxious city slicker, and even more to go around.

It may have been because I watched it after a night of plentiful drinking (highly recommended I might add) but as far as I could tell, beyond the fact these Frankenfish are supposed to be a delicacy abroad, we never really learn why it is they were genetically engineered to act and perform the way they do, only that they were. But really, does it even matter? We've been sold on the idea that some huge-ass motherfuckin' fish are gonna be eating people and while sitting down to watch this movie, you'd be best served to invest yourself in little else.

It's a given that one can expect much in the way of budget level CGI, a serviceable number of decent one-liners, a budding love story, and performances which could be described as modestly capable at best. Approach the proceedings with a humble and unpretentious attitude and this one'll be a breeze.

How 'Bad Meaning Good' was it?:
It's been my experience that made for tv and direct to dvd schlock of this variety is rarely as good as 'Frankenfish'. The movie was briskly paced and delivered on it's cover photo's promise of sweet-ass, motherlovin' fish action (which is a rarity among similar bargain bin movie finds). Generally speaking, these sorts of movies rarely cash the check written by their cover photos and goofy pun titles so that was refreshing as well. Overall I enjoyed the thing far more than I expected to.

The CGI fish are blatantly, obviously just that: CGI fish. However, they look good by adjusted standards and always justify their screen time. They can breathe both under and above water (Favorite line: "They must have a vestigial air lung!") so we get them kicking ass in both venues, which is a nice change of pace. All around, I'd give the beasties an A.

Additionally, there are some positively BRUTAL kills in this movie. I'm talking beheadings, shotgun blasts to the face, dudes being thrown into boat fans... They even bust out the old "person reaching out of the water for help gets pulled out only to reveal the lower half of their body has been ripped off" trick! (I love that one.) This is fine stuff.

What else do we have? CGI payoffs? Ummm... YES. I'll be damned if that wasn't a giant rubber alligator I saw in the first act. There's also some richly contrived gangsta conversation to be heard, an implied lesbian subplot, a woman who wears what appears to be a some sort of fitted bee hive cover on her head, some eccentric (and possibly gay?) bio-engineers... This movie's got it all.

Ultimately, this is some quality, quite entertaining and fun horror-stupidity. I'm not sure whether or not my extremely low expectations going in led to an inflated sense of its value but ultimately, it's one I'd recommend for those of you looking for some inspired stupidity to get you through an hour and half. Pair this one up with 'Shark Attack 3: Megalodon' for a stellar water-beastie, maritime-themed double header of superior idiocy.

'Bad Meaning Good'-O-Meter:
7.0/10

Tags: Bad Meaning Good, Bad Meaning Good Case Studies

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