Bad Meaning Good case study #8: 'Enter The Ninja'

Friday, December 04 2009

In April of 2009, myself and DJ Intel launched the 'Bad Meaning Good' monthly movie event at The Burlington in Chicago (which takes place on the first Monday of every month). The idea behind the night is to screen cult classics, exploit movies, unintentional comedies and every other kind of film we collectively decide is so bad that it's actually good. In the ongoing search for the perfect 'Bad Meaning Good' film I've decided to take on a weekly (or AT LEAST once-per-week) blog entry in which I'll review, summarize and rate bad movies of every variety imaginable. The goal is to reach somewhere in the range of 75-100 posts within a year, at which point I'll look for a place to publish a first volume of 'Bad Meaning Good' reviews in book form. Stay tuned...

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Bad Meaning Good case study #8:
'Enter The Ninja' (dir. Menahem Golan)

Summary:
The Israeli dream team of Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus bought Cannon Films in 1979 and promptly embarked on an incredible run of brutally efficient, low-budget trash masterpieces in order to satiate the video market's nearly unquenchable thirst for action fodder and assorted silliness of a whole bunch of excessive and distinctly 80's varieties (these dudes produced everything from Death Wish movies to Breakin' II: Electric Boogaloo to Stallone vehicles like Cobra and Over The Top... Quite the legacy to be admired for aficionados of 'Bad Meaning Good' cinema). Included among this masterful run was the 1981 sleeper 'Enter The Ninja', starring Franco Nero as Cole, an ex-American military man-turned-ninja-in-training, who has headed East to embark on something of a search for meaning in the wake of his traumatizing war experience (he wears the evidence of his combat background with a quiet, masculine dignity throughout).

The film opens with some seriously fucking sweet ninja action and we see our protagonist go through the final stages of his ninja schooling before receiving his official license as a master of ninjitsu. His quest for acceptance as a Westerner in the home of the ninja is not without its roadblocks though, as another of the school's master students, Hasegawa (Sho Kosugi), takes issue with the idea of new, American blood entering the centuries-old fraternal order of ninjahood and defiling that which is sacred and pure to the people of Japan.

Upon being inevitably accepted, Cole heads to the Philippines (presumably more so because it was a cheap place to film than it was an integral component to the story's plot) to help his ex-war buddy Frank (and Frank's wife Mary Ann) fight off the merciless hounding they're enduring at the hands of vicious landowners eager to get their greedy paws on Frank and Mary Ann's valuable and much-beloved land (a common theme in 80's martial arts and revenge-driven films in general). From there, Cole kicks a whole lot of ass, over and over again, until the landowning faction, operated by a sleezebag named Venarius, has to take more drastic action and unbeknownst to Cole, taps the very ninja school Cole graduated from for an equally skilled ninja to raise some hell and shut Cole down for good. And wouldn't you know it... His main detractor... His very nemesis Hasegawa is brought in to settle the score, giving Cole a renewed sense of purpose and an opportunity to fight the good fight and finish off his remaining enemies once and for all.

How 'Bad Meaning Good' is it?:
Where do I even begin? This movie fulfills the sweet-ass ninja action requirements necessary for an additional 10 ninja films. I'm talking about ninjas lurking in and jumping out of trees, ninjas blowing poison darts, ninjas throwing smoke bombs, ninjas catching arrows with their bare hands, ninjas throwing stars that lodge directly in peoples' faces, and a lot more. There are more karate chops to peoples' necks in this film than probably any film ever. There are ninjas punching people directly in the balls. Hell, this production makes use of every kind of weapon imaginable within the traditional ninja arsenal, often with the express intent of coming to direct blows with the groin-ular regions of those on the receiving end of Cole's fury.

What else is there, you ask? How about synchronized swimming? There's definitely some of that. Cockfights? At least two that I counted. Recycled bad guys that die more than one death? Absolutely. One-liners? Oh God, are there ever one-liners... One-liners so good you'll rewind to hear them again (I dare not spoil any of them here, lest I tarnish their maximal effect for first-time viewers).

There's Christopher George hamming up his villainous role to devastating effect. There's also one of the most amazing slo-mo death scenes of all time (one that's even good enough to rival the final death sequence in 'Street Trash'). There's hilarious dubbing of both dialog and ninja sound fx. Perhaps best of all, there's an actual hook-handed character named Siegfried 'The Hook' Schultz. It's pretty much the grandaddy of all ninja movies from our childhoods and could reasonably be considered one of the original films most responsible for cementing the ninja's "coolness" legacy within the pop cultural lexicon.

'Enter The Ninja' is pretty much tip-top. The movie is astoundingly entertaining and gloriously over-the-top from start to finish. It's also a great example of how a small collection of people with a good sense of humor, just a few dollars in their pockets, and a great amount of film-making gusto and enthusiasm can produce a film that is nothing if not purely satisfying, cathartic fun on every level.

'Bad Meaning Good'-O-Meter:
9.5/10

Tags: Bad Meaning Good, Bad Meaning Good Case Studies

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