true In April of 2009, myself and [DJ Intel][1] launched the 'Bad Meaning Good' monthly movie event at [The Burlington][2] in Chicago (which takes place on the first Monday of every month). The idea behind the night is to screen cult classics, exploit movies, unintentional comedies and every other kind of film we collectively decide is so bad that it's actually good. In the ongoing search for the perfect 'Bad Meaning Good' film I've decided to take on a weekly (or AT LEAST once-per-week) blog entry in which I'll review, summarize and rate bad movies of every variety imaginable. The goal is to reach somewhere in the range of 75-100 posts within a year, at which point I'll look for a place to publish a first volume of 'Bad Meaning Good' reviews in book form. Stay tuned... ____________________ **Bad Meaning Good case study #9:**<br> ['Shark Attack 3: Megalodon'][3] (dir. [David Worth][4]) [1]: http://www.djintelone.com/ [2]: http://www.myspace.com/theburlington [3]: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0313597/ [4]: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0941671/ **Summary:**<br> Maritime hijinks abound in this direct to DVD shitshow about pre-historic sharks going all kinds of apeshit near modern day beach resorts. Allegedly filmed in Bulgaria but actually taking place in Mexico (!!!), Shark Attack 3: Megalodon tells the story of a corporate communications business called APEX that finds trouble while constructing a network of worldwide, underwater fiber-optic cables. What kind of trouble, you ask? The kind sent direct from CGI hell, I counter. Enter Ben, a resort lifeguard and all-around swell dude. While scuba diving for lobster one afternoon, Ben finds an unusually large tooth lodged in an underwater cable. Though he's told by both the higher-ups at APEX and his own employer to ignore the matter, he promptly peruses the internet and conveniently lands on 'Marine Tech', a web community for those concerned with all things shark-related. He snaps a photo of the tooth with a digital camera that somehow INSTANTLY zaps his pictures into cyberspace and posts the photo on the website's rudimentary message board. Within 24 hours he's visited by a San Diego marine biologist posing as a museum worker, who secretly recognizes the shark tooth for what it really is; that of an ancient species of pre-historic shark thought long extinct - the Megalodon. He comes to learn about her ulterior, shark-studying motives and though he's initially displeased by her professional dishonesty, they eventually join forces both on the sea and in the bedroom, with the collective goal of bringing down both an oppressive, dangerous corporation and the Megalodon itself, a shark so lethal it makes the shark from 'Jaws' look like fishbowl fodder. All this silly plot business is a mere formality though. Ultimately, what we're waiting for is that sweet, sweet shark action that we know lies on the horizon and most everything leading up it (more or less the first 2/3 of the movie) is simply the set up. It plods along a bit slowly at times but the all-encompassing shittiness of the production, script and acting is not only good fun in its own right but also leaves a distinct, lurking impression that once the action begins, it will likely be the kind of laughably awesome shitstorm of witless film-making that we've been expecting all along. When the action does begin, it's here to stay and remains unrelenting until the credits roll.<br> <br> **How 'Bad Meaning Good' was it?:**<br> Being that it was released in 2002, I'd have to say that 'Shark Attack 3: Megalodon' is as good an unintentional comedy as any I've seen made in the wake of the new century. It's the kind of utterly messy combination of technical ineptness, porno-grade acting chops and z-grade production values that eventually coalesces into a flaming shit phoenix rising out of the cinematic toilet in triumph. It is so full of continuity problems and thoughtless, lackluster direction that it requires a near-constant state of forgetfulness on the behalf of the viewer in order to be considered something posing semi-competently as a reality-similar narrative. Most of the shark scenes in the early portions of the movie are cut with documentary-style stock footage. The shark footage is often grainy and completely at odds with the film's prevailing aesthetics. Additionally, the sharks are dubbed over with these odd grunting and groaning noises while they're menacingly mucking about under water; I repeat: THE SHARKS ACTUALLY MAKE NOISE. Virtually every extra or peripheral character in the movie receives an awful dub treatment and frankly, the main characters who actually speak english don't fare a whole lot better on their own. The two leads are utterly devoid of chemistry and the male lead (played by [John Barrowman][1]) is the only of the two to put up a performance with any semblance of charisma or dramatic flexibility. There is however, one particular scene of note between the two leads that has become something of a de facto landmark of face-melting, camp insanity and the individual line of dialog within this particular scene is one of those sort of sublimely perfect, impeccably delivered one-liners capable of prompting spit-takes and instant rewinds from even the most seasoned of shitty movie veterans. On the internet and youtube in particular, it's simply become known as "the line". Believe you me, it is laugh-out-loud hilarious each and every time and will lose not a fraction of it's luster, even on the 50th viewing. The special fx are the real scenery-chewing device that this film has to offer though and let me tell you folks, they are BAD. I'm talking freshman year of high school AV club bad. The final act of this film is a veritable cornucopia of the most amateurish, budget-level, ridiculous-looking shark attack set pieces that film history has to offer... And it is completely, stupefyingly hilarious stuff. There is seemingly no limit to the amount of material that the Megalodon is capable of flushing down it's ever-expansive maw and watching it happen over and over again is a deliriously good time. Gather a group of friends, make sure the booze is flowing aplenty, turn on 'Shark Attack 3: Megalodon' and let the stupidity ensue. You won't regret it.<br> <br> **'Bad Meaning Good'-O-Meter:**<br> 8.6<br> <br> <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BRYAL0fQ51g&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BRYAL0fQ51g&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> [1]: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0057882/ 2009-12-15T00:03:33Z 2009-12-14T23:53:01Z 68 image/jpeg sharkattack3.jpg 34653 2010-01-05T20:41:46Z